Diversity. It's becoming more and more prevalent in the news than when I was younger. As I get older, with the odd grey hair showing, I've come to realise the importance of diversity, and everyone should champion it. The best way to highlight why diversity is important, I believe it's best to highlight my journey with it. Some of you may sigh and look the other way; others may be behind me on the journey (in which case I wish this piece speeds you up) and others way ahead of me.
When I was younger, I was taught what the implications of not having a diverse society was - "the world is not an equal place, so you'll have to work twice as hard to get where you want." Pretty deep for a 10-year-old if you ask me, but my parents did always have an unconventional parenting style. Looking back, I took the worst out of this. It was my comfy bed stopping me from getting back up when things weren't going swimmingly. Subconsciously, I believed in this doctrine and if there was any hobby I wanted to do or a career I wished to be in, I didn't truly pursue it.
My whole family would watch close to any TV show centered around the South Asian Community, or featured someone in it. Honestly, the shows became so much more interesting even if I had no interest in it before because a representative of my heritage was on TV. I probably would love Downton Abbey if the cast was full of Punjabi and Gujurati men. It wasn't just my household, my aunts and uncles used to do it too. These shows used to be the topic of conversation, especially Series 2 of ‘My Family’ which gave their viewers an insight into the Grewal's. It wasn't just TV, even music. For example, when Raghav was on top of the pops (showing my age there) or when Jay Sean released ‘Ride It’. Reflecting on this, I wouldn't say this was patriotism because would I watch these shows or listen to the music if it was PTC Punjab? probably not. The fact they were showing these shows and music on Western TV is what made it magical – because I felt included. Making people feel included is a wonderful thing and that is the power of diversity. Granted part of the magic is because it's a rarity, but if it were to be the norm then people would feel comfortable in who they are.
When I was younger, well till the age of 17, I'd always go to Sangraant at my grandfather's house. For those who don't know what a Sangraant is, it's a celebration of a new month. As a kid, I'd hate them and dreaded going to them. Partially, because it made me different from the other children in school. When I went to school, I felt uncomfortable about telling people that I used to go because it made me different and different kids never made friends. A horrible thought no? I perhaps am not the diversity promoter that I am today. But I wanted to make friends and to do that I had to be similar. I wish I told my friends about what Sangraant is and if they didn't like me then those were friendships I shouldn't keep. I believe a diverse society would allow children to have the confidence to be who they are and not hide it for the sake of friendships.
University came round, I was all fresh-faced raring to go. Having the confidence that I knew it all. Yet, in the first weeks, I hated it. I felt so alone. I didn't fit in, I tried but I had nothing in common, it felt like a wall. Along came my new family, who I see as God's blessing. Pointing the obvious, we are all from South-Asian descent. We all clicked and it felt like home from home. The walls that I had previously were not here when I met South-Asian friends. Our upbringings were relatively the same, the obvious difference is that I am not from London for which I am ridiculed to this day. I feel I am not the only, my parents, my cousins and other friends had the same experience. Why is that? Perhaps I didn't try or I gave up too early? Would we see this in a diverse country? I am not denying that different friendship groups do not mix, they do, and it's great to see. I wonder whether we prefer to like people who are the same as us, not who are different unless they are a prick then no one wants to be like one of those.
In my final year, a friend of mine who is a strong advocate of diversity mentioned unconscious bias. That light bulb moment happened, it explained what I was seeing around me. Unconscious bias as the name suggests is when a person discriminates without them knowing it, less severe than what our forefathers faced when coming into the country.
This bias helps to explain the struggles that BAME candidates face when applying for jobs. Another reason is ethnic minorities do not see role models in a sector so subconsciously cannot see themselves apply or become successful in that role.
I then spoke to a CEO about the issue of diversity in senior leadership positions. He gave an incredibly smart and short response, "the company's board members should represent its customers." This will allow a company to thrive because it knows what its customers want. Similarly, a teacher will be a great teacher if they have an unconscious bias for children. This explains the lack of diversity in companies, but also gives others no real excuse to explain their lack of diversity.
Well there you have it, here's a big problem that we sons and daughters of the immigrant face. So what can we do?
I don't think no one solution fits all, nor is it a quick fix. It's hard to say whether unconscious bias will truly ever go away. Reading Sapiens (a great book by the way), I learnt that humans are herd creatures and love to be within groups because that was key to our survival. If we like to be within groups, we may always naturally revert to our herds and "attack" those who aren't within our group.
I think the key to tackling unconscious bias is tackling what people's perception of the herd is. Showing that we are more similar than we are different. For those who want to take on this Herculean tasks, I have some suggestions and why's. It's not for everyone and it requires a lot of bravery that some people don't have which is completely fine. To say how you should live or act does not promote diversity and is single-minded.
Work hard for that promotion and be that senior leader. Being the figurehead that the next generation can strive to achieve will encourage more and more people from diverse backgrounds to achieve that role. As my parents have indoctrinated me with "work twice as hard". What is a burden can motivate you to achieve your goals. Even better than working twice as hard, is that people will see how amazing you are at your job and will chip away at their unconscious bias.
Don't neglect the arts. If you are interested in being creative. Damn pursue and pursue it well. These areas have been neglected by South Asian, and probably other cultures, but they have a profound impact on unconscious bias. Showing off your amazing talents (from overcoming the struggles) and informing thousands if not millions will help people to better understand you and show that you are not so different.
Don't shy away from who you are. Often we exacerbate fear when in actuality it was never that bad. Judge your crowd and if it seems like they are interested to learn more about who you are, tell them and be proud of it. Make new friends with people from differing backgrounds, even your colleagues might come from completely different walks of life compared to you.
So where am I now on this journey? I feel more at peace with who I am. I embrace my diversity and I feel comfortable. From being a shy kid who never spoke about it to a kid who informs others about diversity and its importance. Who would have thought it eh?
About me: Having studied Chemical Engineering at university, I am now a graduate engineer in the energy industry. I enjoy going to the gym, spending time with loved ones, and helping others not make the same mistakes I did.
Life motto: “The best thing about failure is that there is an opportunity to be better than you were yesterday.”